I know the english here is broken and very poor but its better than nothing and it gives us possibility to correct ( Yes You! PLZ help! )
The book at the moment is just in polish possible to get in anarchistic library "Fort van Sjakoo" at Jodebreestraat 24 in Amsterdam or here:
I know that perfect ideals doesn't exist and that in the first phase of love we don't see bad sides of our partners. I'm writing those words when I'm with Rabia half year already spending most of our times together. This that we are not bored with each other and that our love is still full of passion its showing fullness of feeling what we are sharing.
If we are talking about ideals that Rabia is very close. Seems we fit each other almost on every aspects. Sometimes we are saying to each other that God gave us to ourselves, that through our love make us stronger in the fighting evil and more active in spreading goodness.
Both of us, we went through many bad things in our lives. Both of us, we got life lessons from it. In both of us great changes for better happened. Both of us in the depths of our hearts, we desired someone close, who like we as destiny of our life would have changing our world for a better place. How Rabia is saying: "We are here on this Earth not only to eat, sleep and consume". God choose us for something more than this low life. Whole our life its going not without the reasons. Everything have its own important destiny. We both are thinking that Got made us great gift giving us to each other. "Gift from God" - that's how we name each other in the wonderful moments. We have this consciousness that to not wast it we have to stay goo and active. We must always nourish our love to each other, to God, to other people, animals and all other beings. Because love that's huge power very needed in this nowadays times of money and hate.
That's why it's very important to maintain love in perfect purity ( as much as possible), not let it spoil by bad mistakes, not necessary quarrels, jealousy, greed and other sins. So many people are saying words "I love You" without knowing how much they're meaning. Let's not forget, loving that's giving other person happiness, that's loving her more than yourself, that's forgetting Your own ego, that's giving yourself to beloved. That's through love we can build haven in this modern hell. It seems to me this is our, my and Rabia life mission, that through this beautiful example, how love should look like, how blossom, how emanate teach other this great feeling. Exactly through our life we can teach love others, we can show that just by doing good we can achieve real happiness and real joy of life what would not give us any heroin, crack, TV, car, alcohol, money, power and other garbage, what people use to stuff themselves to fill this emptiness inside after lack of love.
After all of what I went through in my life, what I suffered, what my life tort me, God could not give me better gift than Rabia, my beloved health activist. Gift from God, My Happiness, Goddess of Love, Great Lover, Love of My Life, My Haven, Most Beautiful, My Miracle – that's some of many names what I'm giving to her almost everyday. Still those words are not expressing even one percent what I'm feeling to her. That's great having on the side someone, who like You is thinking, that's we need as much as we can to make this world a bit better. By this our great connection, our power, our strength is much bigger. Together, we can do much more. Through such a great power what love is, our values are not only adding to each other. Even multiplying its not enough to say about. They're intensifying itself and question of time that we will move the mountains. Changing our world for better that's what we are both dreaming about and in what we are supporting each other.
Rabia is also great angel if we think about our family and home. That's great, that she loves Nea like her own daughter and she is caring about our health and our well being like for her own. It's very important for me, till not so long time ago lonely father to secure for my daughter the best conditions as I can. Nea is part of me, my parenting love and that's me half with her mother Janka I'm responsible for her life. There is nothing more important in rising up a child than atmosphere of love, what together with Rabia ( thankful her and God ) we are trying to give for Nea. I'm very glad that Nea accepted her step mother and I hope that is loving her with equal mutuality. That's very important in live of a child to give him what is the best. It's not her fault that her parents divorced. I think that's Nea is much more happy when her father is living in happiness instead of never ending sadness. For goodness of the child its better to rise him up in the spirit of love, to give him example of loving family that in the future he would be able to built his own family. And if something is not perfect is essential to do everything as close as perfection ( as anarchists fighting step by step for paradise on Earth.
That's great from Rabia that she refreshed my fathers saying that: "on health and food we should never save the money." That's she made conscious that buying just some of the organic products for Nea is not enough, that's if I really love her I can't stuff her anymore with the cheap chemicals served in supermarkets. She tort me that slow poisoning people with not healthy food is just another way in which system is trying addict our bodies and poison our brains, so we would calmly stay at homes, servile do our job and never fight for better world for all of us.
Who would wish to vanish sugar, to put in it a lot of more factory energy just to make it white, "clean" and not healthy ? Why beside of that there was more energy putted in the process is still much cheaper than this not vanished but more healthy ? Who have interest in that, that poor people would poison themselves ? Why governments are subsidising so much meat industry beside of that from health, economic and ecologic reasons doesn't make any sens ? ( About ethic reasons to save people from hunger and animals from slaughter I'm writing somewhere else in "Makulatureczka nr.10 )
In the healthy body healthy spirit, that's what are afraid modern governments and that's why they're trying to avoid that.
To make our rebellion even more stronger and vital we decided to cut off ourselves from this all E numbers at the food, from those chemicals and everything what is poisoning us.
Beloved Rabia made my aware too, that to be good healer we have to be above all healthy ourself. Just then by not being a hypocrite I would be able to pass this healthy, clean energy what is standing behind healing. It's also about to make everything the best as we can. If we would like to live as nice as possible, we have to cut off everything what is poisoning us: meat, chemical food, alcohol, addictions, drugs and all what is what is wrong. We don't need to stuff ourself with all that evil what is standing behind. We are fighting for goodness.
That's why as equally valid step in achieving happiness we thinking is getting rid off in the most possible way all those bad emotions. When we are angry at someone this anger, this evil is always coming back to us. It's making us addicted from inside. Is building frustration, what is, growing, not letting us sleep and in the end is ruling our life. When we are angry at someone, we would not teach him nothing good. We are giving what we are receiving. We getting what we gave. Ancient laws of universe. That's why Jesus wanted so much to teach us art of forgiveness. Even when we are rebelling, when we are fighting for our rights, we shall not hate our enemies because if we would hate them what they will learn from us ? Hatred ? For those what are doing wrong things we should have compassion that they do not have in themselves love, this goodness. Because this emptiness, this lack of love they trying to fill it somehow another way. That's why they're drinking, using drugs, saving to much money and material things. They believe that they would buy with that happiness. But those are fake Gods, because nothing is standing behind them just evil, frustration, suffering tears, ignorance for world hunger, death of animals, deportations and all other elements of babylon. Is that all about in life just to pray to cult of collecting money ? We know already that those things would give us frustration.
Real happiness is in love and doing good things. Compassion to those who not understanding that. Everyone have conscience which they can lie to but believe me would come moment when they would look at their life and they would cry, they would regret their greed, ignorance and all evil what they made.
That's my love to Rabia and her to me is letting us to achieve this awareness, then put it on the paper, have energy to do good things and thankful that live in happiness. Because that's happiness instead to work go together to the action in defence of the forest, health of the children and people, against armies of this world. That happiness to not care that they may arrest us because anyway we have something that they don't. WE HAVE LOVE, WHAT WILL CONQUER ALL. HATE IS FINAL FALL.
And when they would, we wouldn't be weak, we would not cry, we would not get angry . Arrest that's great time for meditation, praying even for forgiveness for our oppressors because they don't know what they're doing. Biggest evil what they do they do for themselves. They may lock our bodies but they would not lock our spirit, our love when we are truly liberated. ( 2006 )